Tonight, I am thinking about infertility and how much it sucks. There are so many women who suffer with infertility and yet they all feel like they are suffering alone. “Lucky” women will never have to feel their pain, their suffering, and their loss. So it is really hard for them to understand the thoughts and feelings of a woman who is dealing with infertility. It is also hard for those women to express their emotions. So the rest of the world will have a hard time getting into the minds of these amazing women.
I am one of the unlucky ones. I have been dealing with infertility since 2006. After two ectopic pregnancies, removal of both of my fallopian tubes, a few early miscarriages, and many failed IVFs, my dream of ever becoming pregnant and carrying my own child has slowly disappeared.
After many years of living with infertility, the wounds have mostly healed but the scars will always be there. These scars have a tendency to “bleed” once in awhile when certain situations happen in life. There is no warning when this happens so it is hard to prepare. But I guess as the years go by, these too will get easier. Hopefully.
In my personal life (not online), I do not know anyone who has infertility. I have met one lady online who lives close by but I have not met her yet. So I am ever so grateful for the internet and the support groups that I found. At times when I feel alone, I can go there and remember that others are feeling the same way as me.
I have recently became a mother through adoption to the cutest girl in the world. She has kept me strong whenever I have felt weak. She is definitely my living angel. Even though my infertility/pregnancy loss scars will always be with me, my daughter will keep me moving forward.
Do you suffer from infertility or know someone who is? Please share your thoughts/stories/advice below.