I always dreamed of my infertility drama coming to a positive end. I never thought I would have to live with it for the rest of my life.
As the years go by, my hope slowly dwindles away. My dreams are no longer there. As if my unconscious mind knows the reality.
I will never understand why I was chosen to have infertility. But I guess I am just not suppose to know.
There is a plan for me. Getting pregnant and giving birth is not part of it. I feel like I must throw in my white flag and give up. I have to move on from my “want” and live with the plan that I “need” and the plan that God needs me to have.
I always ask myself if God truly wants me to try so hard. Does He really want me to suffer and cry while enduring treatments, negative pregnancy tests and early miscarriages… I just dont know.
For those of you who have moved on, when did you know it was time?
Until next time,