Life has been so busy that I have been missing one of my favorite things to do. Reading. I have always loved reading and can proudly say that is one thing I received from my dad. The love of books.
So I was finally able to finish reading a book yesterday. Stormchasers by Jenna Blum. I came across this book at the Dollar Tree. It looked like a good book and only $1. So I gave it a chance.
Very happy when I Googled the title later and found out people are actually selling this book for $5-$10 online. Love finding bargains. 🙂
Too be honest, when I first started reading this book, I fell asleep. My mind just was not interested in this topic. And the rhythm was sort of slow. The next day, I forced myself to keep reading because I have always needed to finish a book once I start. I was happy that the book got more interesting and turned out to be an OK book.
The main subject of this book is mental illness and the affects on family. The author ties this illness with tornadoes. Really great analogy to use. I do not have a lot of experience with bipolar so it was nice to read about a sister’s point of view. Another point of this book is secrets and how it can’t take over your life. The author does very well in describing just how much one huge secret can mess up your life.
I loved the tornado chasings and the little love story. The book could have used a little bit more action. The ending was sort of expected. But a happy ending is always a good ending.
This was a good book to restart my love for reading again. Excited for my next book find.
Tomorrow, my mother will be having elbow surgery. She broke her elbow over a week ago and have been living with a splint since. I assumed my mom would be happy to have surgery and finally take steps to getting use of her arm again. But, my mom kept to herself all day today. Hardly eating. Sleeping a lot. I asked her if she was nervous. And she quietly says, “A little.”
I try to talk to her more about it but she shuts down. She is not ready to talk. But her eyes show me. It hurts to see my mom in pain and scared. Nothing much I can do but try to keep her comfortable and distracted.
I hope tomorrow’s surgery goes well without any drama. Please keep my mom in your prayers.
Until next time,
I am full of mixed emotions tonight. My body feels overwhelmed trying to figure everything out. My mind feels tired. My heart; overworked. I need to find out how to rejuvenate my soul and hold my head up high again.
A lot of negative things/feelings has happened, currently happening and has a high percentage of happening. I cower my head to try to block the hits. It lessens the blows but I still feel like I am slowly falling down.
I feel the love from my Baby M and my husband. Their love seems to hold me up. Their unwavering love supports me and strengthens me. I will be OK because of them.
Once in awhile, my mind starts daydreaming about being pregnant. I get so irritated with myself and stop the dream as soon as it starts. Why do these visions of being pregnant still pop up in my mind? As of right now, there is just no way I can get pregnant. So why hold on to that dream?
Why is my body torturing me?
I try to think of all the reasons why God does not want me to pass down my genes. Just to try to comfort me and prove that this is how life is suppose to be.
I have many health issues. I’m not smart. My family medical history is insane. If I was to get pregnant and pass down my genes, my baby would grow up with just so much drama to deal with. It would be my fault he/she will be living with pain.
So my mind can think logically about this infertility nonsense. How to help my heart understand…
This month has been hard. Extremely draining. Can not wait to say “goodbye” to March. Always hated this month..
Until next time,
So my mom fell last week while walking on the sidewalk. The cement was uneven and it tripped her. She landed on her left side of face (which is all bruised up) and her left elbow (which is now fractured). It has been about 4 days and it seems like everything is getting worse instead of better. Her bruises are darker now and it is hard for her to move her jaw.
We took my mom to the ER the first day and the doctor checked her face but said it is only bruised up. I will take her Monday to see an orthopedic doctor Monday to see if she will need surgery on her elbow. I really hope she heals quickly.
Our visit to the ER reminded me of how much I hate hospitals. Too much pain. Too much blood. Too much sickness. So many people need help but they have to “wait” their turn. And the less serious emergencies get passed up to people with heart/breathing problems. I saw a man walk out with his little daughter after waiting for at least 3 hours. His daughter threw up so much during that time. And he just kept seeing other people getting help before them. He looked so helpless because he just couldn’t get his daughter any help.
While waiting for my mom’s turn, a man walks in holding his neck with a bloodied shirt. He patiently waits in line to sign in. When he gets to the front desk, he let’s the lady know that he got jumped and wanted to get his neck checked out. The nurse let’s him in right away.
Lots of moms with sick kids. Coughing. Sneezing. Vomiting. One lady trying to console another who can not seem to stop crying. Bleeding. Broken neck. Pain everywhere.
I was done with the ER as soon as I walked in.
It has been a few days and I am still traumatized.
Send prayers and positive thoughts to my mom in hopes she heals quickly.
Until next time,
I love doing nothing on a Saturday. Staying home. Relaxing. Wearing my “wear at home only” clothes. 🙂 And just being together with my little family.
Of course, I just couldn’t relax. There was cleaning, organizing, and laundry that had to be done. But, still, I was home.
So the big news of the day… Where in the world is that plane? And how did they even lose it?? With technology being so advanced, it is very weird that they can not find the plane. All the current details given makes this whole situation a little “fishy”. Someone is hiding something…. Prayers to all the families waiting to hear the truth. Hopefully they will get answers soon.
Other news everyone should be reading: we are on the brink of another world war. 😦 It is so scary to think how close we actually are to a huge world war. One wrong move. One wrong word. And it will be the beginning of a huge disaster.
So much has already happened in our lifetime… Can’t we just enjoy the rest of it..
Looking ahead… Did you know that Easter lands on April 20th (4/20) this year? It is so ironic that national weed day lands on a very religious holiday. I wonder which one Colorado plans on celebrating. 🙂 I am not a smoker. And never even tried weed. But I personally have never seen anything negative from weed smokers besides laziness. I am not sure why weed got such a bad reputation. As long as they don’t smoke around my family and does not cause harm to anyone, why should we care…
Almost time to set your clocks! Spring forward. Enjoy your Sunday.
Till next time,