Foster/Adopt Process Update

Many months have passed and my family have been able to accomplish so many things. My husband and I completed the parenting classes that was offered through the county. And we completed all the live scans, doctor visits, initial paper work, and exit interview. We just had our home inspected by the state.  Now, we wait for our adoption worker and the home study to begin.   Even though we have made it through so many steps through out this process, we still have a long way to go.  But, I am getting more excited for this new path we are now on. Our house is ready for another little one. The bed is set up in the room waiting. Our daughter is so eager to share her toys. Our hearts are open and ready to love.

I walk pass the room every night and see the crib set up. My heart beats faster. My thoughts begin to race.  What does God have in store for us?  Will a baby enter our lives? Or a little 4 year old girl? We brought a convertible crib just in case. We try to be ready for whatever God has planned but it would definitely be a lot easier if He at least gave us hints along the way.  🙂

Much love to the world,


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View of the ocean in San Diego




Starting the Process Again

It has been awhile since I posted about our steps in becoming a family. I know you all understand how life just seems to never slow down.
Well, we started the process again for the foster to adopt program in our county.  First step was orientation. Next is all the paperwork. We are just in the very beginning of this new road to expand our family. I am, of course, nervous. But my heart is calm knowing that we are moving in the right direction.
Our daughter, who is now 5, is also ready for this journey. Over the last year, she has been asking for a brother, sister and a baby. My husband and I sat down with her to make sure she understood the process that we must go through. The lengthy process. She is really excited and wishes that this process was not so long. 
I am amazed to see how open she is to sharing her room. Her toys. She has so much compassion. And constantly shows how much she loves to help with babies. I can tell that she is strong mentally for this new road in our lives.
Please keep us in your thoughts/prayers to support all of us in this new journey. 
I hope everyone is doing great wherever  they are on their own personal journey.

Much love to the world,

Saying Goodbye to My 15 Year Old Cat ShyAnne

Early this morning (Sept 16 around 1:30 am), I had to say goodbye to my beautiful cat, ShyAnne. She was 15 ½ years old.

I feel so sad. My heart is hurting. My eyes are sore from crying and lack of sleep. I know she lived a long life but I guess I always expected her to be there. Now she is gone and I feel the emptiness in my life. For over 15 years, she has been apart of my life. She was there for me whenever I needed her. She comforted me when I was scared or sad. She listened to me when I needed to talk. She stayed by my side so I would never be alone. She was the best cat.
I named her ShyAnne because the word “shy” described her perfectly. I found her in a home shelter when she was just a few weeks old. I saw how scared she looked and knew right away that we needed each other. I was a young teen who was also scared of the world. I took her home and she was so shy. She started coming to me right away but was shy around everyone else.  After awhile, she also started trusting my mom too. But ShyAnne always came to me and wanted to be around me. And even after 15 years, she was still the shyest cat around. Only to me was she relaxed and able to be herself.
I miss her so much.
I feel guilty. When my daughter came into our lives, I did not give ShyAnne the same attention as before. In the beginning, my daughter was so little and had breathing problems so she could not be around a cat. Then as my daughter grew older, her lungs healthier, she became strong and very hyper. We kept trying to teach my daughter not to be rough with our animals (we also have 2 medium size dogs). But she did not understand that her strong hug was actually starting to choke our pets! So we kept our daughter away from our shy ShyAnne.  Finally, she started understanding more and actually petted ShyAnne nicely. But our daughter was just too loud for my quiet ShyAnne.
I should have spent more time with ShyAnne. I always thought how awesome it will be when my daughter gets a little older and calmer. I day dreamed about all three of us just sitting together, talking, and relaxing.
That was my plan. 😦  ShyAnne was suppose to live forever.
Not a lot of people understand the pain that I am feeling right now. They just don’t know that a pet is considered family. ShyAnne was my “sister” that I never had in real life.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to grieve. How can I memorialize her so she will never be forgotten?

I have decided to never adopt a kitten again. I can’t deal with this sadness of losing my lifelong friend.

My daughter saw me crying. She runs and hugs me. Says she is sorry. And wipes me tears away.  I have never cried in front of her before. And her compassion and understanding of feelings overwhelmed me. She did not want to leave my side until she knew that I was OK. My daughter is amazing and  has helped me laugh today. I am feeling extremely sad but she knows how to put a smile on my face…

I will forever miss you my ShyAnne. You are loved and missed so dearly. You are with my little angel babies and my daddy now. I hope you all continue to look down upon us and protect us.
Thank you ShyAnne. We all love you.


Until next time,

What is a “Normal” Family?

As I lay here trying to fall asleep, I started thinking about my family and the new definition of “family”. In the olden days, family was described as a mother, a father, and biological children.  My family would have been singled out as the abnormal family everywhere.
But things are different now. My family is considered as normal as many other families. For there is no “normal” family anymore. That normal family definition is disappearing.
Adoptions, foster parents, single parents (young and old), step parents, half siblings, step siblings, unmarried couples with kids, grandparents raising their grandkids, aunts/uncles raising nieces and nephews, two mommies, two daddies, surrogates, shared custody after divorces, married couples with pets…(I’m sure there are many more)….. The new definition of family has now changed and the new “normal” is not normal.
I use to worry about what the world thought about my family. My not normal family. But why should I care? Even if we are different, I love my family and my life. And thats all that matters.
Love, respect, laughter, comfort, teaching, learning: all qualities of a family. Love your family. Embrace what the world has given you.
You are exactly where you need to be right now.

Until next time,

Another Child Abuse Ending in Death

I was planning on trying to go to sleep earlier tonight. I check my Facebook one last time (I know, that is very bad)… And I came across this page:

Justice For Abigail

Another little girl passed away from injuries of child abuse. And her own father is being accused. On this page, it has some information and pictures. These pictures are so heartbreaking. One especially brought tears into my eyes.

This poor little helpless baby. She did nothing to deserve this pain.

Parents/guardians are here to love and protect their babies and kids. Not hurt them. Not kill them.

I know I feel anger right now. But I am so sad that this little girl is not here while the “father” is healthy in jail living on tax dollars. Why are we paying him to live comfortably?!

Whenever a story of child abuse comes my way, I always go back to the same question. “Could it have been prevented?” Could this little baby still be alive if someone just spoke up? Was there any signs of previous child abuse?

Let us use this heartbreaking story to prevent any future child abuse deaths. Look around you. In your home. In your neighborhood. In the stores that you shop. In the restaurants that you eat. Any sign of a possible child abuse. Please report anything that you see. You could be saving another baby from dying.

I know this is hard. How can we see the signs? Usually, child abuse is done by the parents and inside the home. So how can outsiders see and know what is happening? Always look at the baby/child for bruises or marks.

But in the end, the main person who can save a child is a family member or very close friend. Please dont be afriad to stand up and speak out. Family is family. But a child is a helpless being who needs someone to save him/her. Be their hero.

Every child needs a hero.