Many months have passed and my family have been able to accomplish so many things. My husband and I completed the parenting classes that was offered through the county. And we completed all the live scans, doctor visits, initial paper work, and exit interview. We just had our home inspected by the state. Now, we wait for our adoption worker and the home study to begin. Even though we have made it through so many steps through out this process, we still have a long way to go. But, I am getting more excited for this new path we are now on. Our house is ready for another little one. The bed is set up in the room waiting. Our daughter is so eager to share her toys. Our hearts are open and ready to love.
I walk pass the room every night and see the crib set up. My heart beats faster. My thoughts begin to race. What does God have in store for us? Will a baby enter our lives? Or a little 4 year old girl? We brought a convertible crib just in case. We try to be ready for whatever God has planned but it would definitely be a lot easier if He at least gave us hints along the way. 🙂
Two years ago, I entered a club that I have always wanted to be apart of. I wished and hoped. I prayed and I cried.
And when I was finally apart of this club, I did not know if the world was going to accept me into this role. I did not come into this club like normal women. Would they see me the same as them? Would they see me as equal?
When my daughter first came into my life through foster care, I was not sure if the world would even consider me as a real mom. I was nervous about this new position and the new changes. But I did not really have no one to talk to because I was afraid that they would not see me as one of their own.
I loved being a mommy from the very beginning. I tried not care if the world accepted me as a mommy or not. So I kept my private life to myself and did not even try to open up to anyone. I was more afraid of rejection so I just did not try.
I did not feel comfortable or brave enough to even try to see if the world accepted me in my mommy role until we actually finished our adoption.
Once I opened up, the world truly embraced me. They accepted me. They saw that I was a real mommy. They praised me. They gave me advice. The reaction was so much better than what I was expecting.
I have one cousin who on numerous occasions, has expressed to other family members that she does not agree that I should be fostering or adopting. Her reason: “if God wanted her to have kids, He would have given her kids.” That hurt me hard and really scared me about what the world would also think about me. I have not talked to this cousin since she has made those comments over two years ago. I do not have room in my life for negative people.
But I am so glad that other mommies accept me. And I hope that others in my position are braver than me and open up to the world faster than I did.
Because every woman fostering/adopting a child is a true mommy. Never feel like you are below the “normal” mommies. Be proud of your new journey in motherhood.