Foster/Adopt Process Update

Many months have passed and my family have been able to accomplish so many things. My husband and I completed the parenting classes that was offered through the county. And we completed all the live scans, doctor visits, initial paper work, and exit interview. We just had our home inspected by the state.  Now, we wait for our adoption worker and the home study to begin.   Even though we have made it through so many steps through out this process, we still have a long way to go.  But, I am getting more excited for this new path we are now on. Our house is ready for another little one. The bed is set up in the room waiting. Our daughter is so eager to share her toys. Our hearts are open and ready to love.

I walk pass the room every night and see the crib set up. My heart beats faster. My thoughts begin to race.  What does God have in store for us?  Will a baby enter our lives? Or a little 4 year old girl? We brought a convertible crib just in case. We try to be ready for whatever God has planned but it would definitely be a lot easier if He at least gave us hints along the way.  🙂

Much love to the world,


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View of the ocean in San Diego




Should I Throw in the White Flag?

I always dreamed of my infertility drama coming to a positive end. I never thought I would have to live with it for the rest of my life.
As the years go by, my hope slowly dwindles away. My dreams are no longer there. As if my unconscious mind knows the reality.
I will never understand why I was chosen to have infertility. But I guess I am just not suppose to know.
There is a plan for me. Getting pregnant and giving birth is not part of it. I feel like I must throw in my white flag and give up. I have to move on from my “want” and live with the plan that I “need” and the plan that God needs me to have.
I always ask myself if God truly wants me to try so hard. Does He really want me to suffer and cry while enduring treatments, negative pregnancy tests and early miscarriages… I just dont know.

For those of you who have moved on, when did you know it was time?

Until next time,

Weekend Movies and Life’s Plan

This weekend was a pretty relaxing weekend. I love relaxing weekends.  Our weekdays have been so busy that having to go no where during the weekend is wonderful. 🙂 

A few nice things also happened this weekend.

My two favorite movies since childhood played on TV. The movie Polly played on Saturday. And Anne of Green Gables marathon played Sunday. Watching both these movies seriously topped off my relaxing weekend. Watching these movies does not only make me happy. But somehow they give me the power to stay strong, move on, be calm and stay optimistic.

If you have not seen the movie Polly ( Polly (1989) Movie ), I suggest that you do. It is an old movie but with great values and morals that can still be applied in today’s world. It is mainly about an orphan girl who moves into a town, reminds them about being “glad” and changes everyone’s lives forever. It is a musical with so many wonderful songs and dances. I love “Angel Eyes” and “Stand Up”. Love love love this movie.  Disney actually sells this on their movie club. But you can also watch for free on YouTube.  Something I learned today: the music producers of the songs in this movie is currently also making music for Sprout’s Pajanimals. And this is so cool because my daughter loves that show. :-). So it sort of connects my childhood to hers.

My second favorite movie that played this weekend was the Anne of Green Gables series (Anne of Green Gables website). This marathon actually took all day so I was not able to watch all of it. But even watching a little bit was nice. This movie is also about an orphan girl. She mistakenly gets taken to a farm who had requested a boy. She ends up staying and changes the lives of everyone around her. This story follows her through her school, college, teaching career, dreams of becoming an author, and all her romances. It is a wonderful, funny, sad story that follows her journey in life.  I first knew about Anne of Green Gables by reading the book. I read that book so many times when I was little. I still have that book now.

After watching these movies, I started thinking. It is so weird that these are my favorite movies. It is so weird that both these movies are about an orphan. I wonder if reading this book, watching these movies, so MANY times have actually been God’s way of preparing me for his plan. His plan for me to adopt. He was preparing me to know that it is OK to love a child not of my blood, that things will always work out and to see that there are children in this world that need help.

Another movie that I constantly watched and loved while growing up was Annie. And that is also about an orphan girl.

It is so weird and calming at the same time to think that everything was all planned out. My experiences growing up was all meant to be. For a purpose. To prepare me for my adulthood.

God knew all along that I would be dealing with infertility. He gave me the strength to deal with it and the mind/heart to see His plan.

Sometimes, I don’t understand His plan fully but I know in my heart that I am exactly where I am suppose to be.